So I kind of suck at this but I'm full of pent up anger and envy, along with a slew of other foul emotions over what many could consider a 'trivial' thing. but here goes:
Oh you sultry temptress, you siren of life
You motion me close, I follow
As I near, you draw away, always away
Yet, like a moth to a flame
I am drawn towards you
Sweetness in your eyes, yet not inside
Like that of Icarus, I fly too close
And have my wings burned each time
Friday, April 23, 2010
Friday, August 21, 2009
Home;It's where the heart is
Ah, am I ever glad to be back home after abit of a month. Alot has passed in that time period, personally and in the world. I've come home a different person; someone a bit happier I hope. Anyways updates will continue on a relatively regular basis, as soon as I feel like writing.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Changes
Hey! it's me! coming atcha from my glorious hometown Del City,Oklahoma. (I stress the word glorious). Like any other person returning home after a few years of hiatus, things are not as I quite remember them. Friends, some of which I've known for about 12+ years, have grown and changed.
I found the hole created by my leaving, filled in, in my circles of friends. I've also found many new faces they've came to know, and befriend, and I've witnessed my closest friend, a shy,short and artistic little fellow, grow up into an outgoing,spontaneous young adult (with a girlfriend, something I find bittersweet, being torn from being proud and happy then being sad that I missed it all) Most of them, my friends, are just as I left them in mentality though, an effect of nostalgia that is almost tear producing from happiness.
As is the theme for this entry, change yet another bittersweet effect I'm noticing in this trip. I'm saddened to have missed it all, the good, the bad, and the boring. Yet, a feeling of pride, and joy that my friends, those who I hold dearest to my heart, are growing up into their potentials. I've got friends who going into the military,succeding in band,blooming as artist,constantly conditioning for athletics, a few unfortunately down on their luck but all living and learning life. A life I feel I am no longer a part of, or fringing on it if anything. An example of such, occured today. I went to a band practice with 2 of my friends, and there were probably 30 kids in all,I knew 4 people at said invent (2 friends included), and they,my friends, were fluidly interacting with them. I'm not comfortable with new, uknown people. I get nervous and anxious, so my day was full of anxiety attacks, cause I was there for a good part of the day (till it finished anyways). This part of the day saddened me, I kinda walked away abit and stood by myself in the damn rain (a rather emo sounding statement I know, and this entry is taking on that kinda tone).I miss what I had, those years ago. I miss what I knew, and the friends of those days. I also miss the years I lost with my friends, I miss the memories I'll never be a part of, I miss my old life.
This is not to say, that I regret anything in my new life, or the people I've learned to love. Just a statement of leaving a place I called home for my childhood.In closing I find myself thinking that they probably feel a similar set of feelings on my departure (one can hope), but life is never easy and nothing last forever, we just have to hold onto those we care about, and the memories we share.
I found the hole created by my leaving, filled in, in my circles of friends. I've also found many new faces they've came to know, and befriend, and I've witnessed my closest friend, a shy,short and artistic little fellow, grow up into an outgoing,spontaneous young adult (with a girlfriend, something I find bittersweet, being torn from being proud and happy then being sad that I missed it all) Most of them, my friends, are just as I left them in mentality though, an effect of nostalgia that is almost tear producing from happiness.
As is the theme for this entry, change yet another bittersweet effect I'm noticing in this trip. I'm saddened to have missed it all, the good, the bad, and the boring. Yet, a feeling of pride, and joy that my friends, those who I hold dearest to my heart, are growing up into their potentials. I've got friends who going into the military,succeding in band,blooming as artist,constantly conditioning for athletics, a few unfortunately down on their luck but all living and learning life. A life I feel I am no longer a part of, or fringing on it if anything. An example of such, occured today. I went to a band practice with 2 of my friends, and there were probably 30 kids in all,I knew 4 people at said invent (2 friends included), and they,my friends, were fluidly interacting with them. I'm not comfortable with new, uknown people. I get nervous and anxious, so my day was full of anxiety attacks, cause I was there for a good part of the day (till it finished anyways). This part of the day saddened me, I kinda walked away abit and stood by myself in the damn rain (a rather emo sounding statement I know, and this entry is taking on that kinda tone).I miss what I had, those years ago. I miss what I knew, and the friends of those days. I also miss the years I lost with my friends, I miss the memories I'll never be a part of, I miss my old life.
This is not to say, that I regret anything in my new life, or the people I've learned to love. Just a statement of leaving a place I called home for my childhood.In closing I find myself thinking that they probably feel a similar set of feelings on my departure (one can hope), but life is never easy and nothing last forever, we just have to hold onto those we care about, and the memories we share.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Proletarian
Recently, I was asked 'what political party do you belong to?'.I turned to them, in reserve, and answered, 'I belong to no party, but the socialist party is closest to what I believe in.'. My answer drew a curious, and judgmental raised eyebrow. I was surprised to not receive a sermon about how my beliefs were wrong, and his party was the right one, but he simply waved it off and went about his day.
I have created, to what I believe, my own party. I dubbed it 'Democratic Socialism', which may be redundant, or a counter productive title. My Beliefs are as such.
I have created, to what I believe, my own party. I dubbed it 'Democratic Socialism', which may be redundant, or a counter productive title. My Beliefs are as such.
- Education oppurtunities should be equal, a poor man has just as much a right to excellent education as does a rich man.
- The government should be able to play a part in economies crucial to the success of the country's infrastructure. Limited by a system of check and balances.
- The people should be able appoint a person to represent and to lead them, but not giving one man all power
Friday, July 3, 2009
'Years of Eternity' Site launch
For the past few months, I've been working along side my friend,Gene,( Check his blog out here http://genereport.blogspot.com/ ) on a project, which we have dubbed, 'Years of Eternity'. 'Years of Eternity' is a fantasy based comic, which I am the writer for, and Gene does the illustration. Well today will be marked as the day all of our work will start to be put in action, today we launched our site ( which I encourage you all to visit
http://yearsofeternity.smackjeeves.com/) no comics are up yet, as we are waiting for the begining of August, so we get a ground point. Teaser artwork will be posted up as the clock gets closer.
I am honored to be able to work with such a fun, understandable person such as Gene, I hope this comic grows into something of it's own, and each strip becomes more and more enjoyable, for us to create, and you to read.
http://yearsofeternity.smackjeeves.com/) no comics are up yet, as we are waiting for the begining of August, so we get a ground point. Teaser artwork will be posted up as the clock gets closer.
I am honored to be able to work with such a fun, understandable person such as Gene, I hope this comic grows into something of it's own, and each strip becomes more and more enjoyable, for us to create, and you to read.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Predictably Unreliable
I'm sure we've all had it happen before. We put all our hopes in one person, and that person lets you down dramatically. This happened to me, as my previous post said, I was waiting for my father to confirm him renting a car. I called today to find that he had not, and 'could not' in his words, for it was 'too expensive' and other excuses. So I had my hope up, then shot down to the gutter, where I currently lay. Alas, I must pull myself up, for come hell or high water I shall visitmy friends in Oklahoma. For this I have to chip out 500+ dollars for plane tickets, A rather large inconvenience.
Today in general has had a melancholy tone since I woke up, the weather outside has been dreary all day and into the night.My last day of summer gym wasn'y enjoyable much at all, besides a 22+ point lead in matball, where all but 3 of my teammates (out of about 22 kids) were one 3rd base and we proceeded to all sprint and score runs. One of out hitters managed to lodge the ball into the rafters between the wall and a metal casing for wires, this should have been allowed as a home run, but they had him re-hit,granted we still scored/ made another base run without any outs. I said my good-byes and well wishes, then headed home,where I instantly fell asleep. I awoke and kinda went about in a daze, drained of any energy and emotion, stomach empty, and a headache so severe I swore Athena would break through my skull. A cup of coffee, small dinner, and some aspirin later I felt better.
As I wrap this up mid-night has come and pass and I am now a legal Adult, seems like yesterday I was a small child. I've expirienced a lot, but have so much more to witness. So heres to a long, adventurous life!
Today in general has had a melancholy tone since I woke up, the weather outside has been dreary all day and into the night.My last day of summer gym wasn'y enjoyable much at all, besides a 22+ point lead in matball, where all but 3 of my teammates (out of about 22 kids) were one 3rd base and we proceeded to all sprint and score runs. One of out hitters managed to lodge the ball into the rafters between the wall and a metal casing for wires, this should have been allowed as a home run, but they had him re-hit,granted we still scored/ made another base run without any outs. I said my good-byes and well wishes, then headed home,where I instantly fell asleep. I awoke and kinda went about in a daze, drained of any energy and emotion, stomach empty, and a headache so severe I swore Athena would break through my skull. A cup of coffee, small dinner, and some aspirin later I felt better.
As I wrap this up mid-night has come and pass and I am now a legal Adult, seems like yesterday I was a small child. I've expirienced a lot, but have so much more to witness. So heres to a long, adventurous life!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Running Man
So the not-so-enjoyable period of summer gym is finally coming to a close.Tommorow should prove rather easy in comparison. Today was our running final, and our final weigh in. To pass our final we had to beat the average of our time's for finishing a mile,I personally had to beat a time of 9 minutes, which would be easy, if I were not injured.I've been running with shin splints, which if you've ever expirienced them, you know the searing pain that come's with it when doing activities that use the legs. Alas, I finished in 9:14, luckily for me, the teacher was nice and she passed me, knowing that I could have beaten it (my best time was about 7:50)
With each day I grow closer to leaving for Oklahoma to visit my family and friends, which I left so long ago. I mainly hope to see the later of the two, but my plan's of being there by next week seem to be slipping further and further away. My father is, unfortunately, predictably unreliable and has been procrastinating or giving excuses for why he hasn't left, so we'll have to see what will come.
With each day I grow closer to leaving for Oklahoma to visit my family and friends, which I left so long ago. I mainly hope to see the later of the two, but my plan's of being there by next week seem to be slipping further and further away. My father is, unfortunately, predictably unreliable and has been procrastinating or giving excuses for why he hasn't left, so we'll have to see what will come.
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